Journal Entrees #3

 November 5th, 2020

    There's so many things that I'm uncertain of. Am I going to wake up tomorrow? Am I lying to myself when I say, "one more episode of 5SOS crack and I'll finish the homework I've been putting up all week." I lie to myself about 90% of the time. Am I ok? I'm actually not ok, but if I keep telling myself that I am okay, maybe one day I'll okay. Right? Am I'm going to make it far with my besties? No one will ever know. :) Something I'm unsure of is life, and basically everything and anything that has to do with it, especially now in times of corona and my hormones. Oh well.

November 6th, 2020

I'm actually killing my time by reading 5SOS Wattpad fanfics, rereading my Harry Potter, Divergent, and Percy Jackson collection, watching basically anything related to 5SOS. I'm a simple person, I see 5SOS and I click. I listen to 5SOS 24/7, and because of them I even started listening to 1D and Harry Styles and even Niall Horan. It all started with an unexpected notification from Spotify, that a band called 5 Seconds of Summer had released a new album, called "Calm," I was very intrigued by the cover, four men (boys) (But I only wrote men down because Ash gets all fussy over being called a boy) laying down looking peaceful with their eyes closed. The man with the blue hair caught my eye immediately. And so I click the play button and the first track "Red Desert" starts playing and I'm like, "This is such a bop!" I definitely love this and this makes me so many things at the same time, and then "Wildflower" starts playing and I loved that song so much too. After surfing the internet, I realized I already listened to a couple of their songs, one of my favorites since 8th grade was "Youngblood," is a musical masterpiece, and ever since I became a huge fan.

November 9th, 2020

I think that maybe something better is coming to me, but at the same time, I'm afraid, because I don't know who I am or who I'm supposed to do in life. I'm scared of being a failure, of turning into a snobbish person, a mean person. But at he same time I wish to know what will happen to this story that is my life. And yes I know I'm the author, and I really hope to make my mark on this place called earth, and to not be forgotten after death like Freddie Mercury, Mozart, or Bach. There's so many things I'm unsure of. And there's also so many things I wish to do, but there's always two things in my way. 1. I'm too young. 2. I'm broke. and 3. Way too busy. And it all sucks. Someday I wish I could become a somebody with a purpose in this hell we call life, but I know someday, I will change the world, and hopefully for the better.

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